I can still taste him on my lips

I left my house last night with the intention of coming home, going to bed with my heart pounding and reading a couple chapters of my book. Insteatd, I went to bed with him, my heart pounding. I layed there listening to him sleep, as I tried to fall asleep. I've always had a hard time falling asleep. When I was little, I was scared of the dark and I thought if I saw one little light in the room, everything would be okay. I used to just sleep with my closet light on or the tv on. And with sleepovers, the comfort of knowing someone in the room with me was all I needed, and the alarm clock light. Basically, the light posts outside peers through his two windows, and from his mirror it reflects onto the wall where I sleep next to. I have to sleep next to a wall, I don't know why. Another comfort thing, like a secruity blanket. It's nice, having someone like him. I woke up to the alarm clock, but when noises occur, I move and moan. I sensed a smile in him when he kissed my lips before he left his room to take a shower. I fell asleep again, and when he returned I woke up to his belt buckle. I turned over and smiled, and he smiled and kissed me. then he layed beside me and took my hand. I just yawned and kept looking up at those eyes. I swear I kept seeing tears swell up, then his index finger and thumb when for outer part of his eyes and nothing. He kept sniffling and looking away then looking down at me smiling, then looking away. I asked if he was okay and what was on his mind and he kept saying "nothing" and "I'm okay." I know whats bothering him. Hes afraid of getting hurt again, and hes afraid of falling again and all these silly things. I know I know. And I'm patient, and I understand..is what I told him. I asked him if he ever wanted to be with me and his response was along the lines of a yes. Patience has always been a friend of mine. Hes happy with where were at and so am I. The ride home was quiet, and he always reaches for my hand. So every car ride, we always end up holding hands and looking at eachother. Goodbyes are the worst, it takes about 5 minutes. But I don't count it as a Goodbye unless we're not going to see eachother for months. I say goodbye to Nikki and my sister. We say see you soon. And everytime I close the door, he blows a kiss. I went inside and went back to sleep. He has class so it's not like he was kicking me out. Whenever we have a sleepover, and whenever I get home, I immedietly take off the shirt I wore because I want the smell of him to last. Call me crazy, but I miss him when he's not around.

I'm reading this terrific book called Sweethearts. Pick it up.